Sorry

You know, I'm not exactly sure how to say this.

I would first like to apologize. I'd like to apologize for my reaction to finding out what you had said and for the noiseyness that you are claiming I have. I may apparently do things to people I don't realize(Which you have told me several times) But you need to understand, how can I not do them if I don't realize I do them?
You're the only friend I've had who's ever said I was selfish or a bad person, all my other friends adore me and that's because I cherish my friendship. I still find away to check up on you even if I have you currently blocked on facebook. Now realize that our friendship turned sour, not because of my problems with MF, but because of the lack of trust I had in you.

I find this very adult like of me-By the way...
Sure I want things to be better, but honestly, I don't think they ever could. You tell me I shouldn't tell you how you feel, when you lie to me just to apparently make me feel better. It doesn't feel better, it makes me trust you less and assume more. I like to think of myself as a good person, I really do and it kind of stings to know I let our friendship get to the point of where it is now, but either way, you probably are doing fine without it anyways.

This is just pointless rambling, so let me explain myself. I didn't trust you and honestly that's not really your fault, it was just all the lies and assumptions and blame that you had put on me. Now don't say you didn't, because well... You did and I read about it in your blog. Remember: "Even when you blocked your blog, I still found a way to read it because I CARED". I think the last two words are pretty crucial.

I care a lot for my current relationship and I'm glad you haven't stepped in, I didn't think you'd be the type of person to ruin someone else happiness anyways. At this point, I could care less about materialistic objects, like my video game, but I've offered to mail you back your object and I still haven't gotten an address. I know you gave it to me once, but I lost it and asked again and never got it. I can't explain how I feel about this whole situation, just realize I don't hate you. I don't hate anyone. I just choose who I want to be around and I felt like our friendship was a bit unhealthy. It wasn't meant to last. I'm sorry you feel the need to say certain things, but you shouldn't. It doesn't effect or bother me, I've grown past that and even you know, I don't get upset at name calling.

I'm a happy person; I'm going to remain happy and I'm not an earlier you, I don't have any of the same habits you do. I've told you before that I dislike  being mean and even though I didn't intend for this post to be mean, I still feel like it is.

One thing you said to me, I'd like to thank you for it.

"He wouldn't go after me, I wouldn't be good enough."
"You are more then good enough, he'd like you in a second, he just hasn't met you yet."
Thank you.

Vague sound of rain
pierces through my song again
but I get distracted by the way his toes move when he plays
so I let it burn

I just poured my heart out
there's bits of it on the floor
And I take what's left of it and rinse it under cold water
And call him up for more

And I say baby, yes I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
so sorry

He grabs my wrists
as my fingers turn into angry fists
and I wisper why can't you love me, I'll change for you
I'll play the part

And I say baby, so I feel stupid to call you, but I'm lonely
And I don't think you meant it when you said you couldn't love me
And I thought maybe if I kissed the way you do, you'd feel it too

He said I'm sorry
so sorry
I'm sorry
I am sorry

Sorry- Maria Mena.