I'm Going To Be The Last One Standing.

I wish I could just type how I move. Communication would make so much more sense, instead of saying how I feel, I find it easier to move with my emotions; sadly, that isn't possible on this here blogging device.
My day has been incredibly weird. I've been angry most of it and it isn't for a particular reason. Maybe it's because I spent 556 dollars on a ring and 224 dollars on my Cap and Gown package. None of this are going to a car which I wish to obtain very very shortly. Either way my father said we could work something out where I use his car.

I found my driving dismorning to be very good, yet I felt rushed. I felt the need to get to school and get my stuff done. I have a ton of AP lit homework and HOPE, some other things that don't really count as homework but are more or so just things I want to get done, so obviously that means I got some work to do, yet at school I can't do my AP literature homework. I find it much more comfortable sitting in my room, quietly doing my homework at my own pace. No people running around. No people screaming everywhere. Just music and the things I wish to listen to.

I alway skip around with my posts, which I said I would try to get better at, but right now I just want to write and I have this feeling that it's just going to be a lot of skipping.

Oh... My day just got so much better.
Dynamite by Taio Cruz.

I don't know what the deal is, but with this song, I instantly feel so much better whenever I hear it. Maybe because it reminds me of so many great memories, or the fact that it itself is an amazing song, but at the moment it started playing, my expression changed. My lips lost their tension and moved up towards a nice grin, my eyes feel more awake and my head is no longer pounding to myself. Thank you Taio Cruz for this song and thank you Dynamite for the constant reminder of all the great things that I've seen/been apart of/near/kissed/loved while your song was playing etc.

I think I'm going to change the title of this post from "It's Gonna Be a Long walk" to "I'm going to be the last one standing" a lyric from the song itself.

Wow... My iPod Nano just has it out for me today. It really wants me to have a nice day. The next song on my shuffle--- "Memories of Skipping Stones."
You know who you are.
Thank you for existing. Thank you for being with me. Thank you for finding me.


Thank you.

Voce e u Collide.

I don't really have my poetry journal, so if I feel then need to write poetry: I sure as heck will write it here!


Every moment, shown through glimmering eyes.
Every thought, never anything more but another surprise.
The waters, they move and as they do so do our hearts.
My breath is taken as my beat continuelly restarts.

It doesn't shatter, but every moment causes it to stop and then quicken to a fast pace.
What is it racing for, what challenge are we going to face?
I step to you, you step to me, each step bringing us closer together.
Together, one unity.

I never know why I write poetry, sometimes it just happens. I place my hands ona key board and bam, I write. I almost never correct myself or fix a poem to make it better. I find inperfection in my work to only make it all around more improved... In fact I never reread my work, unless I'm dictating it to someone or turning it in as an assignment or something.

We can't afford it.

Why is everything so expensive?
Cap and Gown fees: 200-300 dollars.
Grad night: 95
Class ring: 400
College Applications: 30 dollars each
Sending SAT scores: 10 dollars each
School shirts: 30
That's not counting Christmas...

I'm almost thinking to myself that I don't want a class ring and I just want a ring as a present, but nooo, my mom says I NEED a class ring... Honestly I think it's just one more thing we can't afford. I would be so much happier with a plain ring that I could say "Hey my mom got this for me as a present" then saying "Hey, that's my Booker ring that is so bulky I might not wear it."

Two things.

I cannot wait for freedom.

That's such a broad statement, but what I mean by that is two things:

From Cinderella. The first musical and only musical thus far that I. Have. Hated. I don't know what it is about Cinderella, but I absolutely cannot stand it and can't wait for the freedom that is coming home every day for a few hours, going to ballet and Karate and hanging out with friends and people I hold dear to me. Not to mention this musical has to be the only one I've been in that Mr. Keys seems to just throw together, in my personal opinion it's a weird musical and everything is very lack luster.


Number 2: Having a car. It's not the constant pressure that is my mother, complaining and throwing at me how she drives me everywhere and never has a break that makes me want one. It's the ability to just decide: "Hey! I want to go out to this one place," Or "I want to go see some friends for an hour" and not have to worry about begging my mother or finding a way. I can just pick up those small metallic things that are keys and race out to my metal block, which would deliver me safely to my destination in 40 mph...

These two things should be coming to me in the next two-four weeks. Lets let them happen a little faster!

Why?

Why do I feel like this? Honestly, what is this feeling that creeps in my stomach, that makes me want to worry and makes me want to go on a rampage all at the same time. What is this feeling? I have no reason to feel like this. Ever. Ugh. I hate this feeling. It's terrible and disgusting and I feel like crap because of this thing growing inside of me.

Whatever.