Cannonball

Before I start, if anyone has been trying to post comments, I had it set for "Only registered users" and I realized that's well... Unfair, so now anyone can post, anonymous or not.


Besides the fact that I just walked into my bedroom door, for some reason, I have a lot to talk about now.

It's not that I feel a bit stressed as I do worried about trivial things. I'm extremely worried about my work load with school, which is hilarious because I have more than enough time to do all these things, I'm just a bit lazy and I'm very much so worried about my craft and how much effort I put into perfecting it. For some reason, whenever I show someone my dancing or singing, I always feel bad afterwords, like I regret it, like I feel like I could've done better or I did something wrong, or my performance lacked and then I realize, that's just me being harsh on myself because in truth, I am my worst judge.

So... Political Law? Where did my mother come up with that? I've NEVER heard her say that and she wants me to go into it none the less. I'm a little skeptical and I'm going to look into it, but I'm certainly not deciding on my major right now. I want to find it myself, whether it be dance, music theory, Literature or Child Psychology, it's always going to be up to me and I'm glad I have that freedom to decide, but wow, haha, what a surprise. It's a better suggestion than my grandmothers "Be a teacher, you're good at it!" idea!

I'm listening to my "cute" little iPod, which I call cute because literally ALL of my friends have an iTouch, which haha isn't that important to me, I'm happy with  my purple little contraption. Anyways, I'm listening to my iPod and I do have the whole Damien Rice album, but that was only because I NEEDED the bonus track of Prague, clearly I didn't want the whole thing, haha, but sometimes I hear a song and go "How did THAT get on my iPod" and like it and it happens to be part of that album. As I was typing this, a neat little line came from Damien Rice's song "Cannonball" and it goes "Stones taught me to fly. Love taught me to lie, life taught me to die. So it's not harmful when you float like a cannonball" What an interesting line! Obviously cannonballs don't float :P Which makes me want to go more in depth with the song and understand every little thing he's trying to say. So far I'm getting that he had to win back a lover and it's pretty beautiful. So I started singing with the chorus and then it changed and became even better. "Stones taught me to fly. Love taught me to cry. So come on Courage, teach me to be shy. Cause it's not hard to fall and I don't want to scare her, cause it's not hard to fall and I don't want to lose, and it's not hard to grow, when you know that you just... Don't know." Honestly, I'm extremely impressed with this song right now, I for sure recommend.

So I realized nothing is coming to mind, I started off wanting to speak and now... It's gone. My posts really seem to be all over the place, don't they?

I always get into moods, like not angry or sad or something, like in the mood to listen to a specific song or watch a specific movie. Donnie Darko, I was so entranced that I needed to find where I put that DVD and when I watched it I found out why I needed to remorse myself in that brilliant concepts and film that is that movie. The whole movie the boy is trying to find who he is and by the end of the movie sacrifices himself for the one's he truly loves. What a huge step to take, risking one's own life(In a sense going back in time to stop him from meeting the people he loved) so they would never encounter the things they did while in his company. Such a brilliant movie and by the end, he knows who he is and what he has to do, how lucky of him right? Out of all the people in the world, this character was given to liberty to find his purpose before the age of 18. Anyways, I really want to watch "Spirited Away" and of course... I don't own that movie, I'll have to figure something out, haha.

I really need to personalize this more, add a picture slideshow or more artwork, something, you know? Right now I have like five songs and that just isn't enough to outwardly express who I am, if anyone has any ideas, sure, let me know!

I'm listening to Sideshow now. "I want." This is the song where Terry decides that he DOES want one of the Hilton Twins, but like Buddy doesn't want to go after it because of their condition. So he sings about how he wants her alone and all to himself and nothing between them, then there's a dance sequence and him and Violet share a dance(without her twin sister attached) then he realizes how it'll never happen and her twin rejoins her, I don't know. This song sort of speaks to me and always has, not because of my feelings towards someone, that isn't it at all. It's the bond they had mentally without even expressing it that amazes me and honestly, I wish one day I can come across that as well.

"An obvious connection,
I tried to push a side,
Into the corner of the darkest shelf. We'll never be alone.
And my feelings can't be shown, so I tried to imagine and replay,
all the things, I'll never get to say. Your wrapped up with another, tangled and in twined. I invent a separation. In the private conversation. In. My. Mind. I resolve to say it all, that I am and haw and stall, for how can I come clean or confine. Someone else is ALWAYS at your side. I want. I want. I want to tell you. I want. I want to get you alone. I need. I need. I need to tell you, I want you for my own. If we could steal a moment, would you be so inclined, to accept an invitation to the private conversation in my mind."

Then she comes in, sings back and they enjoy a dance only for him to realize everything. Such a heart clutching moment.

I had a really nice morning, it was a lot of fun haha. I'm really tired now though, I went to bed at 7 pm last night, then woke up at 12, showered, ate, watched T.V went to bed at 2, dogs woke me up at 4, laid in bed in that "Half asleep state" until I got a text at 8, then I scrambled to get dressed haha. I don't know what to do with the rest of my day! I missed ballet and I'm tired, so I should nap or something, but I figured, I could always do that homework... Or get my permit... I'll probably touch base with that soon and do some college research. Sounds good to me. I'm really excited for a nice weekend. Finally. EDIT: I ended up doing my Virtual school final and did poorly, it brought my grade from a 99 to an 89, DISLIKE, I messaged my teacher begging for a second chance. Tomorrow I'm gonna do some college research and start typing my summer assignment(Due in October, weird, right?)

Gosh, this blog doesn't show how silly I am.

Adieu.
Might I add I've for some reason started ending my posts with "Adieu" obviously this is French! But what I didn't know was that the word "Adieu" is in a sense the French version of "Godspeed" meaning "Leave with God at your side" I had no idea that simple word had such a nice beautiful meaning, how gorgeous.