Just one Moment More

I don't know what I'm feeling.

I know I love you, you know I love you, I know you love me, you know you love me.
Yet, I feel like we aren't being true to each other, if that makes sense? We're being so true, that there's a possibility we're not being true. What we've been doing is hurting me, so I can only assume it's hurting you the same and for the I apologize. I feel ashamed of my actions to speak to you and thus I force myself to sleep earlier than I normally would so I won't "ignore you", instead I literally don't get your messages.

I feel terrible, I feel like six months went to waste with how I'm acting and how we never celebrated our six month, how you wrote me letters and drew me an amazing picture, everything and I feel like I didn't appreciate it enough, I didn't appreciate you enough. I feel like I wasn't good enough and everything I did will only make everything worse for you. You're not happy, though you say you are, your blog which I understand is therapuetic to write in like you do, is filled with sad things currently and this is where I'm failing you. I want to be able to hug you and kiss you and lay with you, but as of right now, to me, that might be the wrong thing to do. It might be playing with each others feelings too much, it might be hurting us.

I have no idea what I'm doing or talking about and I think it's very much noticeable. I'm sorry you were angry at me before, I didn't mean for you to be, but I wasn't ignoring you or talking to someone else and I'm sorry you got so upset, I'm upset too. I really am.

I'm really scared, you must see it. I'm afraid of what I've become and I'm even more afraid of what you're feeling and what will happen to you.

I don't know what you're feeling, you change your feelings so often, I really get confused, but all I know is deep down even if you don't admit it, you're hurting and it's my fault. I'm sorry.
I always feel like there's so much more that I want to say, but I can never remember...